I'm so sick of hospitals

That's right, I'm SO sick of hospitals - no pun intended - get it? - sick . . . hospitals. I digress. Well, Mike was admitted last night to get all of his meds i.v and it took forever. He wasn't admitted until 5a.m. Hospitals, ugh. The ER dr honestly said to him, "I know nothing about adrenal insufficiency." Are ya serious? Well, after I googled the number for the on call dr. in Cincy who sees Mike, he did indeed receive his meds, and all other meds i.v. Seizures haven't been too bad despite the flu, and Mike ate dinner tonight and kept it down . . . and in (TMI?) He couldn't have the CT done today b/c he was too nauseas to drink all the contrast. He just texted me, and it is all down and he's ready for it tomorrow. Mike's dr., the hospitalist, is very nice. He spent a lot of time with Mike and asked a lot of good qsts. He has knowledge of adrenal insufficiency (bonus). He ordered some tests Mike hasn't yet had (if that's even possible) and those results, along with the CT scan results, we will receive tomorrow. I reiterated to the nurse that we had to be on a plane Thursday night. Mike, and perhaps my parents, are nervous he won't make it. But, they both are determined to get him on that plane!!! My parents jokingly asked if I were dropping Mike off with them when we arrived. Have I done that before?! In all seriousness, they love having him and he loves staying with them, but we all prefer him in Cincinnati where he belongs. So, tomorrow brings more test results and hopefully a discharge from the hospital, because by golly, we have a plane to catch!!!! Would you pray that the tests results shed light on what is going on, please? Thanks, friends.
Becka

Quick Update

**Update: Mike is being admitted to the hospital. The doctor did not give us a real clear answer why. However, he will be in good hands tonight and receive his meds through IV.

Hello friends,

Becka's sister, Liz, here to give a quick update. Mike and Becka are here in NH. Unfortunately, Mike has come down with the stomach bug. The three of us are heading out to the ER momentarily. Mike will need his meds through IV. We are praying this will be a quick trip without complications.

Thank you for praying and standing behind Mike and Becka in all this. You have been faithful in prayer and support, for which we are all so thankful and blessed.

disbelief and wonder

First of all, a promise - a new blog picture with more season appropriate attire - coming soon to a blog near you.

So every year I read through the Christmas story a few times and try to see things through the eyes of the characters God saw fit to play a role in this amazing and eternity-altering story. I have identified with Joseph this year. Consider the wonder, the excitement, the disbelief, the questions, the unknown . . . on a VERY small scale, I identify with Joseph. Here is a man who was going about his life and then something rocked his world. I feel that way. We were going about life - moved to OH - started a new life, new jobs, and then our world was rocked. So many times I've heard about disaster or illness or trauma that happens to others, and although my heart went out to others in those situations, somehow I gave myself a pass - believing nothing would ever rock my world like that. And yet it has. Here is where disbelief shows itself - disbelief that it's us going through this, disbelief that it's been what feels like forever, and disbelief that it will end. There are questions - Why? When will it be over? Will it be over? What else could we do? What else should we do? What should we feel? Do we feel? Like Joseph, there is the unknown. The long road that the Lord asked Joseph to walk - imagine the unknown in raising the Savior of the world! And there is unknown in all of this - what does the future look like? What other symptoms may arise? What is the diagnosis???

BUT . . . . . , like Joseph, there is wonder. The wonder that Mike is still with me (we questioned fatal diseases). The wonder that we are still in our house when financially, the checkbook doesn't add up. The wonder that every time I ask the Lord to show up, He does. The wonder that family has stepped up in unbelievable ways because, "that's what family does". The wonder of Mike's sense of humor that still resides in his heart. The wonder of friends that have been family to us. Disbelief, questions and unknown - these are trumped by the WONDER of what God is doing through all this every day of the week (well, almost every day - wink).
Merry Christmas, friends. May the wonder of our Savior's birth, death, resurrection and daily workings and intercessing on our behalf rock your world!

Mike update: Mike's seizure meds were increased once again due to increased seizure activity, and there has been a decrease of seizures. He has had a few nights where he was having one or none! This is always a welcome change! This afternoon he had a killer headache and 2 seizures. He hasn't had seizures during the day for a very long time, nor a headache that has been this intense, for quite sometime. SIGH Tomorrow, Mike will try reducing a medication that he has been on for about 5 years. This is one of the last things we have not tried with him. Most neurologists have said there is no way this medication is causing his seizures and headaches, yet we have little left to try. We cannot keep increasing seizure meds, we don't have a diagnosis to tackle, environmental and diet modifications have not worked, top hospitals and neurologists have few answers, and so we try this. Mike will halve his dose tomorrow and the goal is to get him off of this med altogether to see if symptoms decrease. Friends, if you've ever begged the Lord on our behalf, can I ask you to do it again? Can I ask you to hope on our behalf? Can I express thanks in any other way than my inadequate words? Merry, merry Christmas!!!
Becka

Silver linings

Well, friends, Mike has steered clear of the stomach bug! It's been one week, so I gotta believe he is in the clear. One down! Mike was put on a medication for pneumonia, but unfortunately he had an adverse reaction and seized many times on the meds. He was quickly taken off and he is starting to feel better so the thought is, it is viral. Two days ago, Mike unfortunately lost his balance again and went down the stairs. SIGH Still no broken bones, but an order for a block for the stairs and a sore back have prevailed. After I was through with the stomach flu, I got another upper respiratory bug. My doctor asked me what stress I had in life that I could get rid of - hmmmm, much stress and not much of a way to get rid of it.

My heart is thrilled to have 2 weeks off from work - I am so looking forward to time with my family and time with Mike. Two nights ago, Mike went seizure free again! Last night and through today he has seized 9 times. NINE TIMES! He texted me at work to let me know he was having a rough day, and I can't tell you how my heart sank. I have been looking forward to Christmas break for so long - time with Mike and time to enjoy family - and a BREAK - time to refuel and rest and destress . . . . and then I got Mike's text. I cried to the Lord on my way home - telling Him I needed a break, I needed rest, I needed to see my family, I needed life to get easier even if only for a little while. I came home, Mike stretched out his arms, and we just sat there and held each other and cried for a little while . . . we're so very very tired of all this and when Mike seizes countless times, life looks very grim.

But in a season of hope and wonder and excitement - grim is no place to live. I had forgotten tonight that we had made plans for friends to come over. We typically have a Christmas party with the neighborhood, but due to the inconsistency of Mike's health, we decided not to this year. Instead, I invited my running buddies, and their husbands, over for dinner. I invited them over tomorrow night . . . right? Nope. At 6:45 my phone buzzed reminding me company would be here in 15 minutes - my floors weren't vacuumed, my comfy pants were on and two loads of laundry were next to me on the couch. Needless to say, Papa Johns pizza was delicious! And as embarrassed as I was that I mixed up the nights and fed my guests pizza, it was ok. It was more than ok. It was enjoyable. It was normal life. It was an evening where I enjoyed friends and a fire and fancy salad and dessert (which they made, ahem). It was wonderful. I told the Lord today in my tearful drive home that He had to show up - and He did at 7:00 this evening - in the smiles and encouragement of friends - in an evening of normalcy that Mike thoroughly enjoyed surprisingly, considering his rough day. God shows up - in the silver linings of chaos - in the still small voice - in the baby in the manger . . . . and when He does - oh how sweet He is.

Prayers for safe travels to NH this week are appreciated, PRAISE that Mike did not get the stomach bug are in order, and my personal praise tonight is for the silver linings that the Lord continues to show me, especially at the times I need them most. A very MERRY CHRISTMAS, friends, to you and your families!
Becka

Quick Update

Well, two weeks ago I had a cold which took my body about a week to work through. Mike now has had it for over a week, and if his cough does not subside, we are taking him in to be xrayed for pneumonia. The problem with adrenal insufficiency is that your body has a very compromised immune system - making it difficult to fight off any infection as well as making it easy to catch any illness. I came down with the stomach flu Thursday (think I've reached my quota for illnesses this month!) and am just starting to feel better. We have a HUGE prayer request - that Mike would not catch this. If Mike gets this, he would most likely need to be hospitalized for several reasons: 1) be given his adrenal insufficiency medicine i.v. so his body has a chance to fight off the bug and 2) be given all seizure medicine i.v. so he won't get into a bad cycle of seizing. Chances are good that he will get this, SIGH, but God is bigger. He had one night this week where he only seized once, and his partial complex seizures have decreased this week! He was unable to see the homeopathic doctor this week as they want to run tests and can only run them when he is well. If his cough is not better by Tuesday (the date the appt was rescheduled) we'll most likely have to wait until after Christmas for the appointment. Would you please please please pray, friends, for the cough to be healed and the stomach flu to stay clear of his body? Thank you! Blessings!
Becka

Being thankful for the little blessings

Thanksgiving brought family fun, food and the cutting of a Christmas tree! That is my favorite tradition (and you can tell from the picture), and it was nice to do it with my family. Mike and I traveled to MI where there were 25 relatives gathered together to eat and hang out. It was a good time! My family had flown into Columbus and they traveled back to Cincy with us Saturday. We drove through a light display Saturday, church and relaxin Sunday and chopped and decorated the tree Monday. It was so nice to have my family around. There is a sense of relief when someone else I love and trust is around when Mike is seizing a lot - sometimes I feel lonely in his care, but it has forced me to rely more on the Lord which is a lesson I learn again and again. Thursday through Sunday were rough for Mike. He had nights where he was seizing 7 times - every hour or half hour. He's also punching his head when he seizes which adds injury to insult as he lives with a headache pretty much 24/7. When I'm with him, I put my hands between his head and fists to soften the blow, but there are many times I am not with him as he often sleeps elsewhere so as not to keep me awake. He also has been losing his ability to speak after seizure activity which is so frustrating for him. He has also had some partial complex seizures (it's seizure activity that causes one to zone out for a few minutes) which are new. My parents, who are very familiar with seizures (Ben had a few over the weekend as well) suggested we increase one of the seizure meds and decrease the one that had been increased a week prior. This seemed to break the cycle of seizures (this can happen - the brain gets used to seizing and continues until there is an intense intervention). I'm happy to say his seizures have gone from 7 a night to 1 - 3. A good improvement! I've noticed his hand tremors have decreased a bit with the decrease of seizure activity.

Mike has an appointment with a homeopathic doctor Tuesday afternoon. We're interested to hear what he has to offer. Also, Mike is undergoing neuron testing to see how the brain is firing (not exactly sure what that will tell us).

It's been a challenging couple weeks. Mike's seizure activity takes a toll on his body, our emotions and general life routine. We've bowed out of many commitments and don't make many plans as we can't be too sure how Mike will be feeling. Last blog update I shared with you that I felt the Lord had been talking to me about being thankful. As Mike was seizing last weekend while in MI, I looked up on my aunt's wall, and she has a plaque that reads. "Give thanks for small blessings". So as Mike lay there seizing, I gave thanks for all the blessings in my life . . . . and there are so many. . . . so very many.

We have a few prayer requests:
sleep is coveted right now - Mike is tired from seizures, and I am tired from work and when we sleep together, seizures interrupt my sleep as well. Prayer for sleep is appreciated.

Work has been particularly overwhelming for me lately. I just found out there is an opportunity to move to a different position next year. This would be an AMAZING move for me. It's a job that would bring stress relief and be something that I would love. I find that I'm battling hope that I could move to that position as life has been such an uphill climb - life has been hard for so long, I don't know that I should hope for it to get better. I'd appreciate wisdom for how to discuss this option with my principal and a sense of hope that things could get better in one area of life.

We would also love prayer for the appointment on Tuesday. I'm very interested in what the doctor will say.

Lastly, prayer that Mike's body stay safe during seizure activity would be appreciated.

Whew! Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and are celebrating the King's arrival. This time of year always instills excitement in me!