I'm so sick of hospitals

That's right, I'm SO sick of hospitals - no pun intended - get it? - sick . . . hospitals. I digress. Well, Mike was admitted last night to get all of his meds i.v and it took forever. He wasn't admitted until 5a.m. Hospitals, ugh. The ER dr honestly said to him, "I know nothing about adrenal insufficiency." Are ya serious? Well, after I googled the number for the on call dr. in Cincy who sees Mike, he did indeed receive his meds, and all other meds i.v. Seizures haven't been too bad despite the flu, and Mike ate dinner tonight and kept it down . . . and in (TMI?) He couldn't have the CT done today b/c he was too nauseas to drink all the contrast. He just texted me, and it is all down and he's ready for it tomorrow. Mike's dr., the hospitalist, is very nice. He spent a lot of time with Mike and asked a lot of good qsts. He has knowledge of adrenal insufficiency (bonus). He ordered some tests Mike hasn't yet had (if that's even possible) and those results, along with the CT scan results, we will receive tomorrow. I reiterated to the nurse that we had to be on a plane Thursday night. Mike, and perhaps my parents, are nervous he won't make it. But, they both are determined to get him on that plane!!! My parents jokingly asked if I were dropping Mike off with them when we arrived. Have I done that before?! In all seriousness, they love having him and he loves staying with them, but we all prefer him in Cincinnati where he belongs. So, tomorrow brings more test results and hopefully a discharge from the hospital, because by golly, we have a plane to catch!!!! Would you pray that the tests results shed light on what is going on, please? Thanks, friends.
Becka

Quick Update

**Update: Mike is being admitted to the hospital. The doctor did not give us a real clear answer why. However, he will be in good hands tonight and receive his meds through IV.

Hello friends,

Becka's sister, Liz, here to give a quick update. Mike and Becka are here in NH. Unfortunately, Mike has come down with the stomach bug. The three of us are heading out to the ER momentarily. Mike will need his meds through IV. We are praying this will be a quick trip without complications.

Thank you for praying and standing behind Mike and Becka in all this. You have been faithful in prayer and support, for which we are all so thankful and blessed.

disbelief and wonder

First of all, a promise - a new blog picture with more season appropriate attire - coming soon to a blog near you.

So every year I read through the Christmas story a few times and try to see things through the eyes of the characters God saw fit to play a role in this amazing and eternity-altering story. I have identified with Joseph this year. Consider the wonder, the excitement, the disbelief, the questions, the unknown . . . on a VERY small scale, I identify with Joseph. Here is a man who was going about his life and then something rocked his world. I feel that way. We were going about life - moved to OH - started a new life, new jobs, and then our world was rocked. So many times I've heard about disaster or illness or trauma that happens to others, and although my heart went out to others in those situations, somehow I gave myself a pass - believing nothing would ever rock my world like that. And yet it has. Here is where disbelief shows itself - disbelief that it's us going through this, disbelief that it's been what feels like forever, and disbelief that it will end. There are questions - Why? When will it be over? Will it be over? What else could we do? What else should we do? What should we feel? Do we feel? Like Joseph, there is the unknown. The long road that the Lord asked Joseph to walk - imagine the unknown in raising the Savior of the world! And there is unknown in all of this - what does the future look like? What other symptoms may arise? What is the diagnosis???

BUT . . . . . , like Joseph, there is wonder. The wonder that Mike is still with me (we questioned fatal diseases). The wonder that we are still in our house when financially, the checkbook doesn't add up. The wonder that every time I ask the Lord to show up, He does. The wonder that family has stepped up in unbelievable ways because, "that's what family does". The wonder of Mike's sense of humor that still resides in his heart. The wonder of friends that have been family to us. Disbelief, questions and unknown - these are trumped by the WONDER of what God is doing through all this every day of the week (well, almost every day - wink).
Merry Christmas, friends. May the wonder of our Savior's birth, death, resurrection and daily workings and intercessing on our behalf rock your world!

Mike update: Mike's seizure meds were increased once again due to increased seizure activity, and there has been a decrease of seizures. He has had a few nights where he was having one or none! This is always a welcome change! This afternoon he had a killer headache and 2 seizures. He hasn't had seizures during the day for a very long time, nor a headache that has been this intense, for quite sometime. SIGH Tomorrow, Mike will try reducing a medication that he has been on for about 5 years. This is one of the last things we have not tried with him. Most neurologists have said there is no way this medication is causing his seizures and headaches, yet we have little left to try. We cannot keep increasing seizure meds, we don't have a diagnosis to tackle, environmental and diet modifications have not worked, top hospitals and neurologists have few answers, and so we try this. Mike will halve his dose tomorrow and the goal is to get him off of this med altogether to see if symptoms decrease. Friends, if you've ever begged the Lord on our behalf, can I ask you to do it again? Can I ask you to hope on our behalf? Can I express thanks in any other way than my inadequate words? Merry, merry Christmas!!!
Becka

Silver linings

Well, friends, Mike has steered clear of the stomach bug! It's been one week, so I gotta believe he is in the clear. One down! Mike was put on a medication for pneumonia, but unfortunately he had an adverse reaction and seized many times on the meds. He was quickly taken off and he is starting to feel better so the thought is, it is viral. Two days ago, Mike unfortunately lost his balance again and went down the stairs. SIGH Still no broken bones, but an order for a block for the stairs and a sore back have prevailed. After I was through with the stomach flu, I got another upper respiratory bug. My doctor asked me what stress I had in life that I could get rid of - hmmmm, much stress and not much of a way to get rid of it.

My heart is thrilled to have 2 weeks off from work - I am so looking forward to time with my family and time with Mike. Two nights ago, Mike went seizure free again! Last night and through today he has seized 9 times. NINE TIMES! He texted me at work to let me know he was having a rough day, and I can't tell you how my heart sank. I have been looking forward to Christmas break for so long - time with Mike and time to enjoy family - and a BREAK - time to refuel and rest and destress . . . . and then I got Mike's text. I cried to the Lord on my way home - telling Him I needed a break, I needed rest, I needed to see my family, I needed life to get easier even if only for a little while. I came home, Mike stretched out his arms, and we just sat there and held each other and cried for a little while . . . we're so very very tired of all this and when Mike seizes countless times, life looks very grim.

But in a season of hope and wonder and excitement - grim is no place to live. I had forgotten tonight that we had made plans for friends to come over. We typically have a Christmas party with the neighborhood, but due to the inconsistency of Mike's health, we decided not to this year. Instead, I invited my running buddies, and their husbands, over for dinner. I invited them over tomorrow night . . . right? Nope. At 6:45 my phone buzzed reminding me company would be here in 15 minutes - my floors weren't vacuumed, my comfy pants were on and two loads of laundry were next to me on the couch. Needless to say, Papa Johns pizza was delicious! And as embarrassed as I was that I mixed up the nights and fed my guests pizza, it was ok. It was more than ok. It was enjoyable. It was normal life. It was an evening where I enjoyed friends and a fire and fancy salad and dessert (which they made, ahem). It was wonderful. I told the Lord today in my tearful drive home that He had to show up - and He did at 7:00 this evening - in the smiles and encouragement of friends - in an evening of normalcy that Mike thoroughly enjoyed surprisingly, considering his rough day. God shows up - in the silver linings of chaos - in the still small voice - in the baby in the manger . . . . and when He does - oh how sweet He is.

Prayers for safe travels to NH this week are appreciated, PRAISE that Mike did not get the stomach bug are in order, and my personal praise tonight is for the silver linings that the Lord continues to show me, especially at the times I need them most. A very MERRY CHRISTMAS, friends, to you and your families!
Becka

Quick Update

Well, two weeks ago I had a cold which took my body about a week to work through. Mike now has had it for over a week, and if his cough does not subside, we are taking him in to be xrayed for pneumonia. The problem with adrenal insufficiency is that your body has a very compromised immune system - making it difficult to fight off any infection as well as making it easy to catch any illness. I came down with the stomach flu Thursday (think I've reached my quota for illnesses this month!) and am just starting to feel better. We have a HUGE prayer request - that Mike would not catch this. If Mike gets this, he would most likely need to be hospitalized for several reasons: 1) be given his adrenal insufficiency medicine i.v. so his body has a chance to fight off the bug and 2) be given all seizure medicine i.v. so he won't get into a bad cycle of seizing. Chances are good that he will get this, SIGH, but God is bigger. He had one night this week where he only seized once, and his partial complex seizures have decreased this week! He was unable to see the homeopathic doctor this week as they want to run tests and can only run them when he is well. If his cough is not better by Tuesday (the date the appt was rescheduled) we'll most likely have to wait until after Christmas for the appointment. Would you please please please pray, friends, for the cough to be healed and the stomach flu to stay clear of his body? Thank you! Blessings!
Becka

Being thankful for the little blessings

Thanksgiving brought family fun, food and the cutting of a Christmas tree! That is my favorite tradition (and you can tell from the picture), and it was nice to do it with my family. Mike and I traveled to MI where there were 25 relatives gathered together to eat and hang out. It was a good time! My family had flown into Columbus and they traveled back to Cincy with us Saturday. We drove through a light display Saturday, church and relaxin Sunday and chopped and decorated the tree Monday. It was so nice to have my family around. There is a sense of relief when someone else I love and trust is around when Mike is seizing a lot - sometimes I feel lonely in his care, but it has forced me to rely more on the Lord which is a lesson I learn again and again. Thursday through Sunday were rough for Mike. He had nights where he was seizing 7 times - every hour or half hour. He's also punching his head when he seizes which adds injury to insult as he lives with a headache pretty much 24/7. When I'm with him, I put my hands between his head and fists to soften the blow, but there are many times I am not with him as he often sleeps elsewhere so as not to keep me awake. He also has been losing his ability to speak after seizure activity which is so frustrating for him. He has also had some partial complex seizures (it's seizure activity that causes one to zone out for a few minutes) which are new. My parents, who are very familiar with seizures (Ben had a few over the weekend as well) suggested we increase one of the seizure meds and decrease the one that had been increased a week prior. This seemed to break the cycle of seizures (this can happen - the brain gets used to seizing and continues until there is an intense intervention). I'm happy to say his seizures have gone from 7 a night to 1 - 3. A good improvement! I've noticed his hand tremors have decreased a bit with the decrease of seizure activity.

Mike has an appointment with a homeopathic doctor Tuesday afternoon. We're interested to hear what he has to offer. Also, Mike is undergoing neuron testing to see how the brain is firing (not exactly sure what that will tell us).

It's been a challenging couple weeks. Mike's seizure activity takes a toll on his body, our emotions and general life routine. We've bowed out of many commitments and don't make many plans as we can't be too sure how Mike will be feeling. Last blog update I shared with you that I felt the Lord had been talking to me about being thankful. As Mike was seizing last weekend while in MI, I looked up on my aunt's wall, and she has a plaque that reads. "Give thanks for small blessings". So as Mike lay there seizing, I gave thanks for all the blessings in my life . . . . and there are so many. . . . so very many.

We have a few prayer requests:
sleep is coveted right now - Mike is tired from seizures, and I am tired from work and when we sleep together, seizures interrupt my sleep as well. Prayer for sleep is appreciated.

Work has been particularly overwhelming for me lately. I just found out there is an opportunity to move to a different position next year. This would be an AMAZING move for me. It's a job that would bring stress relief and be something that I would love. I find that I'm battling hope that I could move to that position as life has been such an uphill climb - life has been hard for so long, I don't know that I should hope for it to get better. I'd appreciate wisdom for how to discuss this option with my principal and a sense of hope that things could get better in one area of life.

We would also love prayer for the appointment on Tuesday. I'm very interested in what the doctor will say.

Lastly, prayer that Mike's body stay safe during seizure activity would be appreciated.

Whew! Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and are celebrating the King's arrival. This time of year always instills excitement in me!

A Time For Everything

Ecclesiastes 3

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

I love verse 4 - a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance. Logic would tell me now is the season of weeping and mourning, but perhaps now is the time for laughing and dancing and dare I say . . . rejoicing. You see, in this season of thanksgiving, I know we will sit around the table and talk about what we're thankful for - talk about the blessings in our lives, and that has got me thinking about blessings. Blessings come from the Father and if I believe that to be true, then I best be looking for evidence of His hand in my life right now. Because while it is easier to mourn and weep as Mike has started seizing more frequently through the day again, and I ask earnestly, "Lord how long?", I believe His gentle response has been a reminder as to what I have. I have a house I love. I have 2 crazy dogs that I love. I have food in my stomach. My bills are paid. I have a job in a season where very few do. I have amazing health insurance. I have a family that is tight and crazy supportive. I have amazing friend support. I have a church that I feel fills me up every time I go. I have the ability to go to MI for Thanksgiving and NH for Christmas. I have a piano to praise on. I have people interceding across the nation on my behalf. I have a heavenly Father who loves me more than I will ever begin to comprehend and mourns with me in my suffering. I have salvation. I have eternal life and a hope that one day, all the suffering this world has to offer will be worth it. And you know what's funny, this extended trial has made me long for the other side like nothing else ever has - and I'm thankful for that. There is so much to give thanks for. I am EXCEEDINGLY AND ABUNDANTLY BLESSED . . . and thankful.

Mike Update:

Mike received his blood level results - all looked good and there was improvement in one hormone level. His potassium is high but this is not uncommon with what he has going on currently. The CT scan of his abdomen and adrenal gland looked fine. Seizure medicine was increased and his seizures have increased as well. We're not sure whether this is a direct result of the medication. Some seizure meds can cause seizures - crazy, right? Mike has healed from the fall down the stairs but has had other falls due to his lack of balance. His hand tremors are very bad right now, but this is par for the course as his seizures have increased. Until about a week ago, Mike's seizures were contained to sleeping seizures which made life much easier, but he is back to seizing during the day - again, we're not sure about the correlation between meds and increased seizure activity. Seizing during the day makes it more difficult to be active during the day and causes me great anxiety when we go out as I am always wondering when he might drop. I don't worry that he'll get hurt per say, as he has an aura before and knows they are coming, but I fear others' reactions - I hate a big scene - SOOO anxiety causing for me. We both have been struggling with sleep again - Mike due to seizures and me due to my anxiety - why can't I stop worrying??!! Frustrates me! Anyway, we would appreciate prayer for seizures and my anxiety and a good time in MI with family. I feel like there is a cloud that follows us, and I never know how much rain it may dump, but I'm trying desperately to hold onto the fact that Mike was stable (with the exception of headaches) this summer and that we may live that way again. He sees a homeopathic doctor right after Thanksgiving. Thankful for all of you, friends, and for the love and intercession on our behalf. Blessings on this Thanksgiving day!
Becka

and they all came a tumblin down . . .

Twas the morning of Sunday and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a . . . . .WAIT A MINUTE! There were more than mice stirring. I awoke to dogs barking, Mike yelling and large banging noises 6:30 Sunday morning. To those of you who have never woken to such a sound, you'd be amazed by what scenarios run through your mind. Mike has two ongoing symptoms when he is actively seizing (which he is nightly): hand tremors and loss of balance. Mike unfortunately lost his balance Sunday morning and fell down a flight of stairs leading to the basement. We are thankful that no broken bones or concussions were a result. We took it easy the remainder of the day. Mike was sore yesterday but is even more sore today. Needless to say, Advil was added to the medicine regiment. We're thankful he didn't break anything but talk about adding insult to injury! He was already sore from seizing nightly. Prayers for a swift pain relief are appreciated.

Mike saw his primary care last week. A new medication was prescribed for headaches, bloodwork to check levels was drawn, an MRI of Mike's adrenal glands was ordered, a lyme test was run and neuron testing will be scheduled (to see how the brain is firing). We'll keep you updated on Mike's healing, blood test results and how the new headache medicine is working. sigh . . . . .is it vacation yet?

~Becka

Back in the 513

Yes, it's true. Mike is back in Cincinnati - much to his, Becka's and the dogs' happiness. The Durkees went to NH for Becka's grandmother's funeral, Becka flew back to Cincy, and Mike went to Cleveland 2 weeks later to do his uncle's funeral. The service went well, and Mike was honored to speak. Although it was a long day, and Mike was wiped out after, it was very important to him to be there and speak well of his uncle. Thank you for your prayers concerning the service.

Now that Mike is back in Cincinnati, he has some appointments coming up. He sees his primary care this week. The doctor will order a few more tests and hopefully increase seizure medication. Up to this point, Mike's organs have handled the amount of medication he is on, and seizure levels are not yet up to therapeutic levels. The hope is a new prescription for the headaches as well. There is one class of medication that has not been tried. Headaches remain the same - some days are worse than others. After Thanksgiving, Mike is scheduled to see a homeopathic dr who will run his own tests. Mike has started an elimination diet - cutting out all (or most) preservatives and coloring - trying to eat all natural food. The Durkees are big fans of Trader Joe's ginger snaps! As traditional medicine has offered little relief, the Durkees are looking into natural remedies as well.
Mike is glad to be back in Cincy. One of the things he was involved in before traveling to NH was coaching high school boys' basketball. It was a small commitment and Mike was enjoying it. He is concerned with his ability to be consistently involved due to his health. Prayer is appreciated that Mike would be able to coach those three days a week and be consistent in his involvement. It would be so good for him on so many levels.

For now, the Durkees are learning many lessons, feeling restored in new ways, thankful for friends to walk through life with, and happy to be together again. In two and a half weeks they will travel to MI to be with Becka's whole family (immediate and extended) for Thanksgiving.

Blessings, friends.

With friends like these . . .

Recently we've been on the receiving end of much kindness - meals, plane tickets, financial help, prayers and words of encouragement. I thought I'd share one such encouragement.

A good friend sent this to me yesterday. She was talking about a song that I have long struggled with. It's a song that talks about how much God loves us, and you'll remember this summer I talked about struggling with this. There was a time in church where I sat down and couldn't sing the song - struggling with the words - and I listened to my friend stand up and sing it out. Here is what she sent me:


"I remember this time so specifically because it was a day that I felt you were discouraged and just needed so desperately to be touched by the Lord's love. I belted it out harder than normal that day because I was singing for both of us. For whatever reason, every time I hear that song, I think of you. I think of the struggle you are in the midst of. I think of how important worship is to you and how you love to worship. At the same time, I know that finding a voice to praise is a trial at times. So, I decided to be the sacrifice of praise for you. I belt that song out normally but even more so now because of you.

We sang it again today. Love that song! So, I wanted to let you know that every time I think of or hear that song, I think of you. I know you aren't right now, but, in the future, do everything you can to keep your voice and to SING praises. satan hates it, and I know that it is something that has always ministered to you. At times like this, I think that our praise truly is a sacrifice of praise. We may not feel like praising or singing, but we know that we serve an amazing God who loves us beyond belief. He loves you beyond belief, Rebecca Lynn. Let his love and presence wash over you.

Know that I am praying and praising for you. I love you dearly!"


And this is what keeps me going - friends like this that love me and love on me and bring a sacrifice on my behalf. Friends have been Christ with skin on to me. This friend's husband also laid hands on Mike and wept for him as he prayed for healing. . . . The things that I have been unable or unwilling to do, God has provided someone to do them for me - that's how good He is - that's how loving He is - that's He loves us so . . . .

Mike update: Mike has been with my family in NH and will fly to Cleveland tomorrow. His uncle passed away suddenly this week, and Mike is going to Cleveland to do the funeral. I was weary of this at first but he ensured me he was well enough, and it was important for him to do so. Please bathe Saturday's service in prayer - prayer that Mike is used by the Lord to communicate His message and prayer that Mike will physically be okay to go all day. He will stay with his family through next week as I have conferences at school, and the plan is for him to be home on 11/6.

Update from Becka

Mike and I went home for my grandmother's funeral. As hard as it was, I kept telling the Lord the situation was good . . . and He was good. Although it was sudden, it was what Yia-yia would have wanted. And she's with Papou now, no doubt telling him what to do! It was a great weekend with family but a tough one for Mike. He had nine seizures in 24 hours and one that lasted for 17 minutes. It was very scary for me, and I was thankful to have family in the house. After this seizure activity, Mike lost the ability to talk. You'll remember he experienced this before as a side effect to medicine. This time the loss of speech is directly related to seizure activity. After some time of being seizure free (hours), his speech returns, but this is yet one more symptom that is frightening. Mike remained in NH while I flew back to work. We were concerned he was not stabile enough to fly. He was able to see his primary care from NH this morning and seizure med levels will be drawn to see if an increase is warranted. My mom has also started Mike on an elimination diet - eliminating artificial everything to see if this makes a difference. What would I do without my parents?!! The plan is for Mike to be stabilized and then fly home. To say the least, having this happen the weekend of my grandmother's services was extremely difficult. To get back on that plane without my husband because he was too sick was heartbreaking. Mike has officially been sick for a yr and 13 days, but who's counting?
Recently, a friend sent this my way:

Trust You
By Michael Gallaugher

I cannot see You in this darkness
All that I feel is misery
Every question goes unanswered
Every breath a desperate plea

I need strength for today, and hope for tomorrow

I stand in my pain and choose to trust You
I believe You know better than me
Though I don’t understand
I place my life in Your hands
And I worship You

I cannot hear You in this silence
All that I can feel is agony
But You’re still good in all I’m facing
You’re the Lord of stormy seas

I need strength for today, and hope for tomorrow

I stand in my pain and choose to trust You
I believe You know better than me
Though I don’t understand
I place my life in Your hands
And I worship You

Father come and hold me
Let your love surround me
Your compassion’s never-ending
Your mercy new each morning

I need strength for today, and hope for tomorrow

I stand in my pain and choose to trust You
I believe You know better than me
Though I don’t understand
I place my life in Your hands
And I worship You


These words are my heartbeat most days. I most resonate with needing hope for tomorrow and believing He knows me better than me . . . . and the trusting part I struggle with - but also don't know what else I'd do.
Thank you for your continued prayers and encouragement. You'll never know how much they mean.

Life Just Doesn't Stop

Dear friends, as many of you know, Becka's grandmother passed away Monday night. This comes just a year and a half after her grandfather died. Becka was VERY close to both, so there is a lot of grieving in a short amount of time. Becka is certainly not the only one that feels the loss, however. Yia Yia was loved by many and will be mourned by many. The Durkees have been blessed abundantly with tickets for both Mike and Becka to fly to NH for services, as well as money to kennel the dogs. They have also been on the receiving end of many delicious meals, which is one less thing to have to plan, buy and make. Although life doesn't stop for any amount of pain, God's hand has been there. The Durkees have seen it over and over.

A Mike update: Mike's new headache medicine has not worked at all. There is talk of trying another one as well as running a few more tests. Mike's head continues to pound and bring him to tears. Since seizure meds have been increased, the number of seizures has decreased, although Mike is seizing almost every day still. There is room to increase these again. Becka's body has started to feel the effects of stress as well. She has been fighting migraines off and on for two weeks. Prayers for protection of her health are appreciated. The Durkees did spend a fantastic weekend away with college friends. These friends were able to minister to the Durkees and love on them. They laid hands on Mike as he was actively seizing, and the Durkees felt such love - such sweet tangible love. . . . which is what Yia Yia was - God's sweet tangible love to the whole Kaas/Durkee family. How sweet it is for her to be dancing the streets of gold with her husband today in the presence of her Savior. It will be sweet, won't it?

Shocking!

A good family friend was kind enough to take Mike to his neuro appointment. The neuro said he didn't know what was going on with Mike, increased his seizure meds and started a new headache medicine. He said he didn't think the seizures and headaches were related, and he is the first neuro to say that - what's that? drs who disagree?? Shocking! The increased seizure meds and new headache med will take a while to level off in his system and time will tell if they will work. Mike is seizing several times a day for 10+ minutes which seems like an eternity to Becka. Mike is sore and tired. The Durkees feel beat up from the feet up and so very very discouraged. Much prayer for the new medication to work and lifted spirits is appreciated.

Update 10.3

Not much to tell this week. Mike was supposed to have 2 appointments with the neurologist this week that were canceled due to a death in the neuro's family. Mike is scheduled to go in tomorrow. The Durkees hope for the following: treatment for headaches and to get a handle on the seizures. It has been a week full of seizures and sickness. Mike and Becka both had colds that turned to bronchitis and a sinus infection. Mike has been seizing about 3 - 5 times a day and he is exhausted. With more seizure activity has come confusion, exhaustion, soreness, hand tremors and a cut up tongue from biting it during seizures. The Durkees are tired and hope that tomorrow brings direction.

Blessings

Hi friends!

Wanted to update you on a few things. First of all, Mike went about 10 days seizure free after being out of the hospital. The dr had only increased his medication by a small amount and the Durkees thought he might soon have seizures again as his levels were very low in the hospital (46 and the range is 40 - 120). The last two nights Mike has had sleeping seizures - he's been seizing every couple hours and they are lasting longer than normal. BLESSING: they are sleeping seizures and he is not falling AND he has an appt with a headache neurologist tomorrow afternoon who can adjust his meds. All recent tests came back fine, with the exception of a high protein level in Mike's cerebral spinal fluid. It was lower than it was several months ago, and the doctors don't seem concerned about it. BLESSING: all tests for fatal diseases came back negative. Mike has an appointment with a headache neurologist tomorrow, please pray that that seizure meds can be adjusted and he offers suggestions for the debilitating headaches. Between these and the seizures at night, Mike is very tired. Becka has been tired this week, too. She has bronchitis and has laid low all weekend. She has been off work for 2 days. BLESSING: Becka was able to get into the doctor and start on antibiotics the same day. The Durkees have been on the receiving end of much kindness this week. They have received financial gifts, meals and rides to appointments and to pick up medication. They feel blessed by so many! We'll update the blog after the neuro appointment.

WHEW!!

Well, what a week! What a week for all of the family! This week, both Mike and Ben, Becka's brother, were in the ICU with seizure activity. Becka's brother most likely had a reaction to a medication and had to be sedated twice. He went into acute kidney failure and is currently fighting pneumonia. Ben's kidney values are almost back to where they need to be and he was moved out of ICU today. The family is waiting for results of an MRI and the doctors are keeping an eye on the pneumonia which was caused by Ben aspirating. Ben has been in a delightful mood since waking up, and we are all so very thankful for your continued prayers for his recovery.

Mike's doctor wanted him to go into the hospital to be stabilized. You'll remember four weeks ago Mike started having seizures again. He was averaging one a week until after the spinal tap last Friday. He had about 10 seizures on Sunday and his doctor requested he go to the hospital to be stabilized. He was admitted to the ICU due to the constant seizing and remained there for two days. Becka did constant battle with the physicians while Mike was there due to many follow through issues. Mike's seizure medications were not increased until Wednesday, three days after he was admitted. All bloodwork and tests came back fine - what else is new?? Mike's spinal tap results came back normal with the exception of his protein level which is still elevated. This was also elevated early this spring. No one seems to have an explanation of why that is. Once Mike's medicine was increased, he went 24 hrs seizure free and asked to go home as the hospital told him they had no idea what to do with him - hmmmm, sounds familiar. Mike is happy to be home and Becka is happy to fall asleep next to him. He received quite a welcome from the dogs too! Since Mike has been home he has been seizure free.

The Durkees feel this recent seizure activity, the ongoing questions from the doctors and intense hospitalization was a reminder of how things were, and a question of how many more times this scenario may play out until there are answers to Mike's condition or God chooses to heal Mike. This can be overwhelming to think about. Becka felt very torn this week between work, Mike in the hospital, and her brother in the hospital in NH. The Durkees are hopeful Mike will continue to be seizure free but fearful of how long this road may be before answers or healing takes place.

Their plan is as follows: find a new doctor (hopefully a neuro endocrinologist) to address the endocrine issues, make an appointment with a headache specialist (Mike's headaches have been much more intense since the seizure activity and no medications seem to help), wait for a few more tests on the cerebral spinal fluid (from the spinal tap) and meet with Mike's doctor Monday to discuss what to do from here.
It's an understatement to say the Durkees are overwhelmed with life, but they have been touched by all who have prayed, called, emailed, brought meals, donated money and time and been a constant source of encouragement. May God bless you for being a blessing!

THE WAITING GAME

It's been another tough week for the Durkees. Mike has had another seizure and a nonstop headache that he's gotten very little relief from, despite intense pain medication. This has been the worst week for the Durkees since the spring. They are discouraged. Mike feels awful, is on a lot of medication and is barely sleeping. His doctor, a good family friend, ordered a lumbar puncture (or spinal tap), and Mike underwent that this morning. In good news, the radiologist was able to draw the fluid on the first puncture. Mike's last tap was unsuccessful. He was tapped 7 times by 2 radiologists who were unable to draw fluid. Due to the fact the doctors did not have LP information, the one this morning was done for more data (hopefully) and when the results come back, medication will be adjusted once again. The Durkees are hopeful that because Mike was stable for over 2 months, a medication adjustment, or more information from the LP, will grant wisdom to the doctors to stabilize Mike once again. SO, the waiting game begins for results with the hope of more answers and future stability. The Lord's been talking to Becka a lot about resting. In a time that it seems impossible to rest, the Lord has reminded her to "Be still" . . .

A Reminder of How Things Were . . .

It's been a tough week for the Durkees. After being seizure free since June 29th, Mike fell Saturday night. In addition to falling, his vomiting returned. He has been vomiting off and on at night for over a month now. The last time the endocrinologist treated him for this (with a high dose of steroids), he was instantly better. As soon as he decreased his dosage, the vomiting returned. He can't stay on high doses of steroids (the only treatment for adrenal insufficiency) for long periods of time for obvious reasons. So, Mike is back to vomiting several times a night which leads to little sleep for both Mike and Becka. Mike is also dealing with tremendous headaches that drag on for days, after the fall on Saturday night. It's been a week of reminders of how bad things really got for Mike . . . . and how much progress he has/had made. Time will tell if the lagging intense headaches, seizures and falling will continue, or if this is just a temporary set back.

Mike's MRI came back fine - you'll remember he had one of the pituitary tumor to ensure it hadn't started bleeding or growing. It hasn't. He also had bloodwork done to check all endocrine levels and all levels looked fine with the exception of one and another medication was added to address that insufficiency. He is now on 7 different prescriptions and his medicine levels are being checked frequently due to the fact he is on so many. Endocrin levels have been so unstable in Mike and what the levels show on bloodwork could be different than what his body is actually absorbing. One of his seizure medications metabolizes medications faster and so even though his body registers that he is receiving the supplements, he may not be absorbing them well.
After the fall on Saturday Mike was plagued by an unending intense headache. His primary care suggested he go to the hospital last night to ensure there was no brain bleed after the fall. CT and bloodwork came back fine. They gave Mike pain meds i.v. and sent him home. His headache was held at bay for a few hours, but he was up vomiting all night yet again. It is hard to know if the vomiting is an adrenal issue, a GI issue or a reaction to high doses of medicine. The thought currently is that it is adrenal related, but that is not definite.

The Durkees are pursuing a headache specialist in Cincinnati. Please pray that the right doctor will be found and that there will be relief from these headaches. They are also questioning how many of Mike's ailments are a direct result of the adrenal issues. Every time his levels are checked they are SO different. One time one level is normal, the next it is low and something else is normal that was askew in previous testing. This makes adjusting medication very difficult. The Durkees are also looking into another opinion re: the endocrin issues. You could also pray that a good doctor is identified for this visit. The Durkees would love prayer for a good night's sleep as well. Becka was up late with Mike in the ER and then with the vomiting and then went to teach kids all day - she is tired - they both are. While Mike battles health issues, Becka is working and trying to keep them afloat financially and carry health insurance which they are so thankful for presently. She is sometimes torn between caring for Mike and working out of necessity.

This week has been a reminder of how hard life once was (not too long ago) and a reminder of how much progress Mike has made. We are earnestly asking the Lord that Mike continue to make progress and some of the pieces that remain missing are identified. In the ER last night, the doctor asked about quality of life. She asked how much this was affecting the Durkees. She was a tender heart in the midst of chaos. How is it affecting - it has transformed the Durkees' lives - in some good ways and some very hard ways - but their prayer continues to be that they would learn what God would have them to in all of this. Would you pray that for them also, please? Love to you all for supporting them in so many many ways!

A Letter From Becka

It’s been a year of loss. Mike lost his job. My friend lost her baby. We lost our financial stability and I lost much of my hope. My friend lost her brother. He was a daddy and was killed right before father’s day. A little girl lost her battle to cancer. Mike lost his health, and with that, all independence. Another friend is watching her husband deteriorate from a disease before her very eyes. Haiti and its people lost everything. I have begun to understand the depth of how mortal we/I am.

I have been face to face with the reality that life is different now. Life has taken a new turn so to speak. Life when I was a child was happy, carefree, and the worst was a skinned knee or dad’s “everything but the kitchen sink” casseroles. Life in later years brought more joy – high school fun and friends, college memories, trips and lifelong friends, marriage and the hope of adoption, new houses and ministry and blessings. Walking through this last year has opened my eyes to the struggles that life now has to offer. It may be that when I was a child there were struggles and I didn’t notice them because I was too busy being a child. It may be that life was good, full of blessing and free of intense worry, and I am blessed beyond measure for this.

I have been plagued by the question “What have you learned through all this?”, because our prayer has been that we learn exactly what God would have us to learn throughout all this. When I go through rough times, I can’t begin to think about what I am learning. I have to think about getting through – survival mode. I’m your typical first born – everything has to be organized and fit in a neat box. I have learned in less than a year’s time that those boxes were a figment of my imagination. What I thought I had controlled due to my hearty efforts, was actually the grace of God allowing me to get through life with little pain.

Grace – God’s grace – man have I struggle with this concept throughout all this. It is amazing the truths you have grown to hold tightly to and how quickly you question the truth of His promises in the face of adversity. So many of you emailed me and facebooked me with words of praise for how I was handling the situation, for how deep my faith was. Oh friends, if I were to be authentic with you, you’d know that every time I read those words, I shook my head and told you silently in my heart not to admire my faith at all. You always wonder how you will respond in tough times. I had always hoped I would respond with righteousness and faith. My response was far less than admirable. I remember times I told the Lord again and again how sorry I was for what I had certainly done to deserve this, because in my mind the suffering we endured had to be punishment based. When I had worked through that period, I began to question His love. I’d go to church and we’d sing songs with lyrics that said, “Oh how He loves us so”. Every time we sang that song, I would sit down and cry and tell the Lord, I don’t feel it – I just don’t think You love me. His love is something I have grown up knowing in the depth of my heart to be truth. I struggled more with the concept of His love than anything else. So you can see why I shook my head when you told me you admired my faith. I’m afraid my faith was not strong enough to keep me from questioning my core beliefs, nevermind the faith to move a mountain.

The struggle of God loving me was never so profound in my life . . . . but then again the demonstration of His love has never been so profound in all my life. My struggle with Him loving me led to much anger. I began to be very angry. I didn’t want to hear Scripture, and my Bible collected dust for far too long. The anger was something that was new to me – sure I’ve been disappointed with the Lord and even mad at Him, but lasting anger was something new – but so was the demonstration of love by His people. We have been on the receiving end of prayer around the country – people we didn’t, and probably will never know were lifting us up. Those who have little in the way of finances sacrificed so much for us in their giving – how do you begin to thank people for that??? Friends would call and email and tell me that they wept on our behalf in their time with the Lord. They’d pray for healing on the phone with me and share my tears. They begged the Lord on our behalf, faces on the floor, before the Lord. I can’t begin to tell you what that means. I can’t begin to tell you that this journey has left a permanent mark on my heart of the goodness of the Lord and His people. Because that’s what this has taught me –His goodness and how sweet He is to me. In the time I was so caught up in my selfish anger and questioned His love, He showed up with the most tangible form of love I have ever experienced. He knew I could not receive love in any other way than what was tangible. I was so distraught that He knew the only way I could feel love was through my friends who wept with me and did life with me. They were Christ with skin on, to me. He allowed me to be on the receiving end of unimaginable financial support. When I stop to think of this, I’m overwhelmed and words just aren’t sufficient enough. Isn’t He sweet? Isn’t He good to me? Isn’t it a travesty that it took me a long time to release the anger and embrace His tangible goodness? What have I learned? I’ve learned that “He loves me, oh how He loves me so” . . . . and friends, I hope with all my heart that the next time I walk through something so darn difficult, I hold on to that truth, because that is exactly what it is . . . truth.

Last but not least a Mike update: Mike has been seizure free since June 29th!!!! I love that date J. His headaches continue to plague him and he has been vomiting several times a night for over a week. We are unsure why this is. He is scheduled to have another MRI of the pituitary tumor to ensure it is not bleeding or growing. Life is easier now that he is not falling all the time and my anxiety has eased tremendously. There is still a road ahead of us to health, but we are journeying with the tangible love of the Lord with us – all of you! May the Lord bless you and make His face to shine upon you. May you hear the sweet melodies He sings over you, and may each of you know how thankful we are to walk this journey with you, one day at a time.

lions and tigers and trees . . . oh my!

The Durkees just returned from their last vacation for the summer. They spent a week in NH/MA visiting family, friends and former Young Life kids. They had a great time soakin up the sun, sand and quality time with everyone with whom they connected. Mike continues to be seizure free (YAY!!) but the headaches continue. As the Durkees have had trouble sleeping this summer due to headaches and seizures, the lack of sleep wasn't as detrimental due to the fact Becka wasn't working full time. She returns to work Friday and would love prayer to be well rested for the kids' return. This week, Mike will have the bloodwork done to test endocrine levels. On vacation, he also consulted with a family member who specializes in natural treatment of endocrine levels. Mike will discuss some of these options with his endocrinologist at the next appointment. After the bloodwork comes back, an MRI will be done of the pituitary tumor to see if it has grown or is bleeding. You'll remember due to the pain behind Mike's eyes, there was concern the tumor may be changing.

Mike has been having bouts of nauseous and vomiting over the past few weeks. The endocrinologist thinks this may be a result of cortisol levels that are not stabilized in Mike's body. It may also be a result of the intense headaches. On a good note, Mike has been cleared to do a LITTLE driving during the day (b/c seizures have been contained to sleeping for 3 months) with Becka in the car for short distances. He drove twice on vacation and was in his glory! He hasn't driven since October, and the driving this week is a good step toward normalcy. The Durkees continue to ask prayer for the seizures, the headaches, sleep, and upcoming tests. Also, when they returned from vacation they found a tree on their house. The neighbor's tree fell on the house the day before the Durkees returned. Due to its size, it is unclear how much damage it has done. It fell on a good portion of the roof and the air conditioning unit (which is still working in the 100 degree weather - PTL!). The Durkees are thankful to those of you who continue to pray, call, care and do life with them. You are a tangible demonstration of God's love!

Appointment Update

Mike went to the endocrinologist today. He is undergoing tests for endocrine levels again. The doctor is also upping his medication to see if his energy level increases and fatigue decreases. Mike has also had some other issues which may be endocrine related. The testing and increased medication should show whether or not they are endocrine affiliated and whether or not another medication is necessary - can we say walking pharmacy?? ;) Mike is also undergoing another MRI of the pituitary tumor as his headaches could be a manifestation of growth of the tumor or bleeding of the tumor which can increase pressure and lead to headaches. The headache pressure has been right behind the eyes which is where the pituitary sits in the brain. If the headaches are a result of the tumor (which most doctors do NOT think) the course of action is unknown. You'll remember that up to this point doctors have said Mike has 2 issues: endocrine issues - adrenal insufficiency - and a headache disorder which is causing the seizures. All tests and results should be back within 3 weeks.

New Update from Durkees

Well, there are a few things to update you on. Mike heard back about his bloodwork and everything looks fine which means the headache med could be increased. He started the increase yesterday and is feeling wiped out from the medicine, but it’s a matter of time until his body gets used to the new dose. Mike had a stomach bug this week and his endocrinologist told him to go to the hospital to get his medication i.v. He was given something to stop the vomiting and some of his meds i.v. Due to the adrenal insufficiency it is more difficult for his body to fight off infection and he needed the replacement supplement to help fight off the stomach bug. Fortunately, Becka didn’t get this! There were 3 things that were different about this hospital trip – Mike didn’t go in a wheelchair, he wasn’t admitted, and they were home before 3AM! Progress! And speaking of progress, Mike has been seizure free for 28 days!!! That is a NEW record! He has had one new symptom this week which the Durkees are calling the neurologist about. At random times, Mike has a sensation that feels like an electric shock that travels through his arms and legs. Not sure what this is about, but Mike is due for a follow up appt with the neurologist, so they will discuss this. The headaches remain the same, but it has only been 2 days since the headache med has been increased, so time will tell. Becka is gearing up to go back to school and the Durkees are working on a schedule for Mike while Becka is working. Due to the fact Mike can’t drive, they are trying to be creative with what Mike can do during the day. They have friends in the area who are willing to help, and the Durkees feel blessed at others’ kindness! They continue to ask for prayer for sleep. Mike’s headaches remain bad at night and this complicates sleep for both of them. They are really hoping this new increase in medication makes a difference in the headaches. Thank you for praying and caring, friends!

Update from Durkees

The Durkees are enjoying their summer - spending time with friends and each other - looking forward to what the future holds and being thankful for God's provision. Mike continues to be seizure free since starting the last seizure medicine, intended for headache treatment. He has been seizure free for 17 days!!! While this is wonderful, Mike is having a VERY difficult time sleeping at night due to very intense headaches. The headaches are much worse at night - not sure why that is. Also, about every 6 or 7 days, he has headaches which are really bad during the day. When he has these bad headaches during the day, he has them for 2 - 3 days with little to no relief. The new seizure medicine does not seem to be helping the headaches. Mike is headed for bloodwork today to ensure the amount of medication he is on is not affecting major organs negatively and then his dr. will increase the new medication to see if that makes a difference in the headaches. Mike continues to push through these, but the amount of medication he is having to take for the headaches to be livable and the seizures under control is a concern. Also, the list of medications that Mike can take for headaches is quickly becoming exhausted. The Durkees continue to ask for prayer for the right medicine to help the headaches as well as a good night's sleep. On a positive note, Mike's word recall and memory seem better as does his left sided weakness. He is working with a trainer to gain back strength and aside from occasionally dragging his left foot when he walks, he seems to have much more strength! The Durkees were also hoping to get rid of Mike's car because he cannot drive, and it looks like someone might take it next week, which would be a blessing financially. Mike and Becka were in a doctor's office the other day and there was a large sign in the waiting room that said, "Doctors treat - only God heals". Indeed He does, friends. Indeed He does.

Thursday Update

The Durkees enjoyed time with Mike's family over the fourth - lots of fireworks, hugs and swim time with the nephews! Mike was on the blood pressure medication for a week and his headaches intensified and he was having seizures. He is off that and has started on a new medication - it is a med for seizures, but he is trying it for the headaches which continue to be bad. The headaches seem worse at night and after spending time outside in the heat and humidity. Thank goodness for central air! Mike has been on the new medicine for a little over a week and hasn't seized for 9 days. The longest he has gone is 3.5 weeks. There is room to increase the dose of this medication if we find it helps the headaches. Mike is also preparing to have his tonsils out. One of the tests he has gone through throughout the diagnosis phase is a sleep study. The sleep doctor was not only concerned about Mike's sleep apnea but about how hoarse his voice has been at certain times of the day. The sleep doctor sent Mike to an ENT who said Mike's throat looks fine (they were concerned about polyps) and that he is an excellent candidate for having his tonsils and adenoids removed and straightening his deviated septum. The doctor thinks this will cure the sleep apnea, and we all know that a good night's rest is crucial in the healing process. Due to the adrenal insufficiency, Mike will need to double some of his medications to handle the stress on his body of the surgery. He should sleep much better after the surgery. You can continue praying for the headaches - that the right medicine at the right dose will be found. They are so debilitating - both in the pain department and the seizures that follow. He is pushing through these headaches and continues to work out and be active, but there are days it is tougher than others. The Durkees are keeping busy seeing friends and getting reconnected to life that was so different last time Mike was at home and falling constantly. We praise the Lord for this improvement, and the fact Mike is making future plans - something else he wasn't doing last time he was in Cincinnati. Praise Him from Whom all blessings flow!

Quick Update

Mike has started a new medication after a trial of blood pressure medication that seemed to do nothing for the headaches. He is now on a seizure medication that is often used to control headaches. This was the recommendation of the "headache doctor" from Mayo. Mike has been very tired from the medication, but the hope is it will curb the headaches and also the seizures. Mike and Becka are headed to Cleveland to visit Mike's family for the 4th and give a few hugs to the nephews! Thank you for the prayers for a good night's sleep. Due to the new medication, the Durkees have slept well 2 nights in a row! Blessings, friends!

Update from Durkees

The Durkees celebrated 7 years of marriage yesterday! This past year has had its ups and downs for sure, but at the end of another year of marriage, they are thankful to be married to their best friend. The Durkees have been keeping busy - Becka driving Mike around to the gym, dr.s appointments and to see friends.

Mike's enjoying being back in Cincy and reconnecting with friends. The report came from the Mayo Clinic this week and Mike started on a blood pressure medication to manage headaches this week. So far, the headaches have not decreased in intensity, which means he has also had seizure activity this week. Doctors agree the 2 are related. There are three different medications the doctors want Mike to try for the headaches. He is currently on the first and thus far has felt no relief. Headaches are the worst at night and this is affecting both Mike and Becka's sleep. The hope continues to be that if the headaches will come under control, then the seizures will stop. Prayers for a good night's sleep for both are appreciated. Thanks, friends!

Saturday Morning Update

This has been a rather discouraging week for the Durkees. Mike's headaches have increasingly been worse this week. He has had a few weeks where the intensity of them has been less and even a few days he has actually felt good. Yesterday he took a nap because his head was pounding so much. He had 2 small seizures while he was sleeping. Last night while sleeping he had 5 more! His head hurts more then it has in a long time. This is hard for both him and Becka since it feels like a big step backwards. Mayo still has not contacted him but we are hoping they have already sent treatment recommendations to his PC, who they will see on Monday. We are hoping the docors are correct when they say getting the headaches under control will stop the seizures. Since an attempt to control the headaches hasn't been started yet we are anxious to get moving in that direction!

Friday Update: Back in Ohio

This has been a rather challenging week for Mike and Becka as they have settled back into their lives in Ohio. Mike has had a bad week with headaches but is working hard to push through them. They have an appt. with his primary care doctor on Monday. We are hoping he has received the recommended treatment plan from the headache doctor at Mayo by his Monday appointment.

The doctors told him exercise can reduce the intensity and frequency of headaches so they have joined a local gym. As was mentioned in an earlier blog, he started working out right away, I think he has just finished week 4! The trainers at the gym have been very helpful and are encouraging him to keep at it. Becka is tutoring during the summer and since she is the only one able to drive she will keep busy getting Mike to appointments and anywhere else he needs to go. He has already had some good "guy" time and is planning some fishing time over the summer!

Update 6/12: Homeward Bound

Mike and Becka are headed back to Cincinnati in the morning. They will take two days to make the trip because Mike is not able to drive still. He is still waiting to hear back from the neurologist at the Mayo Clinic. New treatments for headaches have not yet begun, but his spirits are still positive.

Mike is extremely happy to be back with his wife! They have had a nice vacation in New Hampshire and Cape Cod, but they are looking forward to being back home. It has been nice taking a break from doctor appointments and hospital visits.

Progress!

Mike has gone 5 nights without seizures! This is the longest he has gone and we feel like he is starting to turn a corner. He still has not heard back from the Mayo Clinic but the combination of meds for his adrenal gland insufficiency, seizure meds and intense exercise program seems to be working! Each day he feels a little bit better! He still has headaches but he pushes through them and refuses to let them consume his day. He is so much more himself lately and it is so good to see him start to have more good days than bad. He and Becka have been enjoying being back together and they have had a good time de-stressing and relaxing. Becka is starting to unwind from a long and difficult school year and is much more hopeful about Mike's health. In order for him to be able to drive again he must be 6 mos seizure free. Let the count down begin!

Today is Mike's Birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MIKE!!!

June 6

We haven't updated for a few days because there really hasn't been very much new to report. Mike still has not heard from the headache doctor from the Mayo Clinic. He was out of town and we are hoping he will hear from him this coming week. We still don't know if they are going to recommend the botox injections in his skull for the headaches. The good news is, and we believe an answer to so many of your prayers... he has been feeling better this week than he has in a very long time! He has had a really good week and seems so much like his old self! We are so proud of how diligent he has been working out! He works out hard and really pushes himself. Even if he has had a rough night, hasn't slept well or if he has a headache...he works out hard. He is very determined! He has just finished week 3 and we are hoping it has something to do with his feeling better. When the dr. told him exercise can reduce the intensity and frequency of headaches I have to admit I was quite skeptical but if he continues do feel better I will become a fast believer! He and Becka will have one more week to spend with family in NH and Cape Cod then they will return to Ohio. Becka will be tutoring for work this summer and will start right after they return. Mike has been doing work for his father in law's office, which has been a great help to him. Since he is still unable to drive, (has to be seizure free for 6 months), and the work can all be done by phone, he will continue with this over the summer. So all in all...we are so thankful for a good week and for all of you who have been so faithful in expressing your love and concern for them! You've reached out and shown so much support to them, in so many different ways... as a family we are all so appreciative of each of you!

Memorial Day

Liz and Becka arrived at the beach late Saturday night with J and Nillie (Durkee dogs). Mike sure was glad to be back together with Becka! They had two really good days on the beach but Mike got a sunburn on his face and the top of his head. Ouch! Becka started a bootcamp routine and both Mike and I have been trying to keep up! Actually, since the drs told Mike exercise can reduce the frequency of headaches he has been very diligent at working out. We are all proud of him! He is very determined. We are expecting to hear from the headache dr. from the Mayo this week to get the plan of action he recommends. There has been talk about doing botox injections in his skull which has reportedly been quite successful for headaches. Will let you all know if we hear anything new from drs.

Mayo: Headed Home

Drs. came in to see Mike this morning. They are certain, based on the EEG results, Mike does not have epilepsy. We actually already knew that but there was some question in the Drs. mind whether the last EEG was read accurately, which is why they wanted to do another one. Because it is not epilepsy and they are the epilepsy team, they now refer back to the original neurologist who saw him for what to do next. He is out of town this week. (of course he is!) When he gets back, he will have a phone consult with Mike and discuss what he recommends.

Headed home this afternoon and off to the Cape tonight!

Mayo: Day 7

We arrived at the hospital at 8 am and by 9 Mike was all hooked up. He took a nap and accommodated the EEG video people with 2 seizures! They always happen while he is sleeping. Pretty impressed with how quickly this hospital team responded. He is on the epilepsy floor and you can tell the staff knows what they are doing and what to look for. The neurologist came in shortly after and talked to Mike and asked some questions. He then asked Mike to put his chin to his chest and sure enough he passed out. We were glad the doc was there to see it first hand, he was glad it was captured on video and the EEG. Later the head neurologist came in and told us they would gather info throughout the night (we assured him Mike would have another one while he slept tonight)
and would see us in the morning during rounds. So we don't know anything yet but are hoping they at least have a plan to send him home with. We leave the hospital at noon and then head to the airport. It may be a couple of days before we are able to post an update. We are traveling all day Friday and Liz will be traveling all day Saturday. I will try to do an update on Friday so Liz can post it before she leaves. If there is no post until Sunday, don't be worried, it doesn't mean bad news, it just means one of us couldn't get to it sooner.

Mayo: Day 6

Mike saw the neurologist who specializes in epilepsy this afternoon. He didn't have much to offer but wants Mike to have another monitored EEG. So tomorrow he will be admitted to the hospital, get all hooked up...one more time. This is the third time... and they will video his episodes and hopefully figure something out. They will also try to induce an episode of passing out when he puts his chin to his chest. They want to see if there is a change in brain waves on the EEG when he loses consciousness. It will be a long day of sitting around but hopefully it will be well worth it. The plan so far is still to fly home on Friday.

Moving on to day 7!

Mayo: Day 5

Late last night we had to decide whether or not to extend our stay just in case the epilepsy doctor, who we see tomorrow, will want to hospitalize Mike and do an overnight EEG. We decided to stay until Friday to get all the app'ts in so we won't have to come back. We saw the endocrinologist again today. She confirmed Mike has a low cortisol level which means he has adrenal gland insufficiency but the cause is unknown but treatable. Apparently, that is not uncommon. He will stay on the hormone replacement and do follow up app'ts at home with an endocrinologist. So we are done with endocrine visits while we are here and now we move on to neuro. There is some talk of treating the headaches with botox of all things! Should know more tomorrow.

Mayo: Day 4

Loooooong day at the Mayo. Waited all day, along with a lot of other people, for an app't to open up with a neurologist. Didn't get one. We do it all over again tomorrow. We have an app't on Wednesday afternoon but hoping to get in sooner. We were told they may want to hospitalize him to do an overnight EEG and video tape him sleeping. We are supposed to fly out Wednesday night. Don't want to extend our stay, but if that is what we need to do so we won't have to return at a later date, we will. Spent the day reading, listened to 4 sessions of Beth Moore on line and talked to people who also were waiting and bored. Mike was tired most of the day. Only slept about 3 hours last night but held up pretty well...tomorrow we'll play cards while we wait and I plan on whipping him at aggravation rummy! Hope there is more to report tomorrow as we move on to day 5!

Pics of Mayo

Mayo: Day 3

Got back to our hotel a little earlier today. That was nice! We arrived again at the clinic around 7:15 this morning. Have I mentioned how I am not a fan of early? Mike went right to his app't at the lab. Then we got on the wait list for the epilepsy dr. but did not get in. The best we got was an app't for Wednesday. We are scheduled to fly home that night. There has been some talk about the possibility of hospitalizing him to do another overnight video EEG. That has not been scheduled at this point. We will return early again on Monday to try to get in to see the epilepsy doc by going on the wait list again. We would like to get in to see him ASAP so if they do want to hospitalize him they can do that while we are here and so we won't have to extend our stay. The only things scheduled for Monday so far are more labs. Today we saw the endocrinologist and went over lab results. We know that his endocrine problems do not come from his pituitary gland so now we look to see if they are a result of the adrenal glands. He had another neck extension x ray done to determine if his dens bone (in the neck area) is unstable and causing him to pass out. If you remember, he had passed out on 3 other occasions when they tried to do this...well not wanting to disappoint...he passed out again during the procedure...3 times. He wasn't out for long but still the results are the same when he puts his neck to his chest. According to the radiologists his dens bone is stable. Hoping the neurologist has some answers. The last test that was done today was an EEG, but this one was much different than the ones done in the past. While he was hooked up they had him do various activities, like reading and looking at illustrations. Then they flashed strobe lights all around him but left out the disco music! He did sleep about 20 minutes during the test (before the lights) but he did not have a seizure. Not sure what we will do over the weekend. I know sleeping in is on the schedule! Other than that, we might check out the Mall of America.

More on Monday!

Mayo: Day 2

We arrived at the Mayo this morning at 7:15 (did I mention I hate early?)

Mike was pretty tired as he did not sleep much, too many seizures... kept waking him up.

He put his name on the wait list and after about 10 minutes he was given an app't for 1:45! We were very thankful! We had 6 hours to wait so Mike decided to go to the patient resting room and sleep awhile. This is a really great idea they have...there is a room without windows so it is nice and dark. The walls are lined with recliners, shelves are lined with blankets and anyone who needs to rest has a place to go. Many of the patients here have more than one app't on the day they are here. For instance Mike has 3 app'ts set for tomorrow so if he wanted to rest in between he can. Many people we rode in with on the shuttle rode back with us at the end of the day. They looked as tired as we felt. It's been a long day for all of us. We're all starting to look familiar to each other at this point. One elderly man, who took the shuttle with us yesterday, was on the return trip with us today, only this time his wife wasn't with him. She may have been admitted to one of the hospitals. He looked sad and lonely today. The neurologist scheduled to see Mike was an hour behind schedule but that was fine, he spent an hour and a half with us. The first hour was to take medical history and to get very detailed information about what has been going on for the last almost 8 months. He ordered a few more tests, some have already been done and he suggested he see the neurologist whose specialty is epilepsy. When we asked about help for the headaches he indicated that there were meds that could be tired but because we are just at the diagnosing stage he didn't want to suggest anything yet. When I asked if there would be a plan before he returns home, he said there would be. We couldn't get an app't with the epilepsy neurologist until June 6th but we were told to put his name on the wait list and try to get in while we are still in town. We will try to do this in between app'ts tomorrow but may actually have a better chance of getting in on Tues since he doesn't have anything scheduled on that day. We leave Wednesday night so Wednesday could be a possibility as well. So today was a long day and we still don't have an answer but the doctors want to do their tests and then put together a plan.

On to day 3...

Letter From Mike

Hello from the Mayo Clinic. I just wanted to share some thoughts that I have had lately with all who read this. I have struggled with all of this mightily. Its been hard to have things that I took for granted taken away from me. I haven't driven since October, haven't worked, haven't been a provider for my family, I haven't even been able to go to the bathroom without somebody calling out and asking if I am ok. As I got really down about all of this I realized there is something that illness cant take from me. Illness cant have my relationship with Jesus, it cant take my ability to pray and communicate with Him, and most of all it cant take away how much my Heavenly Father loves me. I hope that everybody who reads this has a chance to experience this love that I talk about. I was walking around the halls of the Mayo today and I saw some pretty sick people and the Lord reminded me that He has purpose in each and everyone of these people. God has purpose for me as well. SO I ask that tonight you pray what Gods purpose for you is. I then beg you to follow that purpose!! Thank you so much for praying for my family I couldn’t have made it without them!

Love you all!

Mike Durkee

Mayo: Day 1

It's been a very long day. We left the hotel about 6:45am and arrived back around 6:00pm.

It's hard to describe the the magnitude of the Mayo Clinic and the two hospitals associated with it. One of the hospitals seems like a city in itself and the Mayo Clinic is not for those, like myself, who are directionally challenged! The place is huge but well run. It looks more like a mall and hotel lobby then it does a medical building, and that is just in the area we were in.

Mike's app't with the endocrinologist went well. We both liked her a lot. She ordered a ton of blood work and follow up appt's for Friday and Monday. She will be checking all endocrine levels and compare them on the follow up app'ts. This will give her some idea of how much everything fluctuates and hopefully give her time to put together a treatment plan. She also wants him to be seen by a neurologist who specializes in headaches and one that specializes in seizures. There were no openings today but they have a policy for patients which is like flying stand by on an airplane. We went to the neurology department and put Mike's name on a list. The thought is that if there is a cancellation or if someone doesn't show up for their app't then those on the list can take that app't. You can put your name on the list between 7-11 and 12-4. Mike had his name on the list at about 12:30...and so the wait began...and we waited and we waited...nothing opened up today. We will try again tomorrow. We will take the same shuttle in the morning and arrive just before 7:30 and wait and wait some more if need be. Mike will contact the endocrinologist in the morning to see if she is able to expedite the app't with a neurologist.

I was so taken with the thought of how many people are sick...some very sick. We saw much diversity among patients, some old, some young, people from different countries. I watched so many elderly come to the clinic with as much hope as we did. Some were alone and sick, that was hard to watch. Some had such a hard time walking you wondered if they would make it to their appointment on time. The was one man who got on the shuttle with us this morning who suffered with an obvious movement disorder. He struggled just to take one step but the look of determination on his face and the constant smile was inspiring. I wondered how his appointment went today. Many of the older patients were so cute holding hands and clinging to each other. Some were women who were sick and accompanied by their husbands who seemed to be carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. Some were men being supported by their wives who carried all the medical records and seemed to be the one trying to figure out which direction to go to get to their app't.

Some were a long way from home and for some this wasn't their first trip to the Mayo. You could tell from the look on some faces that today was a hard day, maybe they received bad news. And I wondered what it would be like to be them today...realizing some day that very well could be Dick and me. What would it be like? I am sure we would be holding hands and I know if either of us were seriously sick we would be there for each other but if finding our way around was up to me ...we'd be in big trouble! But what if one us has to go through a medical crisis without the other? Then I was reminded of the encouragement I slipped under Mike's door this morning from DT 31:8...The Lord Himself goes before me and will be with me. He will never leave me nor forsake me. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged! No matter what season of life we are in, no matter what the condition of our health is, we are never alone if we know Him!

More on day two...with less rambling!

Tuesday Night Update from Minnesota

We made it to MN safe and sound. After taking the bus to the airport, then the flight to MN, then the shuttle to our hotel, we traveled about 6 1/2 hours... not too bad. Even though Mike doesn't like to fly, he did great! Not sure how his head is, he didn't say and I didn't ask, he must be tired of me asking. He seemed pretty tired when we got off the plane and I'm relatively sure he had a good headache going on. We got to our hotel, settled into our rooms, got dinner, relaxed for a bit (I watched American Idol) and we went to the fitness room and worked out. Mike has done the treadmill now for 8 straight days! He is trying really hard and I am so proud of him! Docs say exercise can reduce the frequency of headaches. MN is 1 hour behind NH and OH. Tomorrow will be a really early morning for us. Have to be ready to take the shuttle at 6:30 am. UGH! Other than his early morning app't we have no idea what tomorrow will look like. Don't know if they will do everything as an out patient or if they will admit him. Mike is really hoping that after looking over everything and hearing his story they will put their heads together and work as a team to come up with a good treatment plan. That's our prayer...plain and simple...

Monday Night Update

The last couple of nights have been rough ones for Mike. Headaches have been bad and seizures have been many. We leave in the morning for the Mayo Clinic. Should arrive about 3:30 in the afternoon. Mike is a little concerned about flying because the last time he flew his headaches got really bad. His app't at the Mayo is at 8:30 Wednesday morning. Don't know yet if they will hospitalize him or do everything as an outpatient. Will do an update after we arrive and have more info. Thanks for praying!

Friday Night Update

Mike has had a couple of really good days this week! He actually had one night without seizures. The first in about 6 weeks. He still has bad headaches but had a couple of days that they weren't as intense. Yesterday, we had a great day visiting a pastor friend in RI and his family. Mike and he had some great conversation and he was so encouraged from their time together. He thoroughly enjoyed the day and held up pretty well. As the day progressed his headache got worse and he was pretty tired but I think it was a good kind of tired! By the time we got home his head was pounding but he was so glad to have made the trip. He had a number of seizures while sleeping last night and bit his lip pretty good during some of them. They look pretty sore and red today. Actually...we told him he looks like he had a really bad lip job done and looks like he is wearing bright red lipstick! Don't think he appreciates our humor yet! It has been much more relaxing not worrying about him passing out and hitting his head all the time. Now that the syncope episodes (passing out) have turned into seizures at night, he has more independence and is getting hurt less often. This has freed him up considerably. No more wheelchair, can go into stores or restaurants etc without an escort and has even started walking a couple of miles a day! We are so proud of him!

Even though he is tired and his head hurts, he is pushing past it and trying to get in shape. He would like to do a 5k with Becka in July if the doctors give him the ok. Our final stop on this medical journey will be the Mayo Clinic in MN. We leave on Tuesday and will be home Wednesday of the next week. His app't will be with an endocrinologist and we are hoping that along with neurology they will be able to put together a plan that will reduce the intensity of the headaches and control the seizures. We would also like to know why the entire left side of his body has neurological deficits. So far, no one has been able to answer that or why the protein level in his spinal fluid is high or why the last time they tried to do a spinal tap they could not extract any fluid. You can see we have lots of questions and we are praying Mayo has lots of answers! We are overcome with appreciation for how the Lord, through so many of you, has taken care of so many of the Durkees' needs. A quick example (one of many): the flights to the Mayo and the 2 hotel rooms while we are there, along with breakfast, have all been taken care of! This is a huge burden lifted from Mike and Becka! Through so many of you and the love and tangible support you have offered, all of the medical bills that have come in so far have been brought up to date and are paid for! You can just imagine what a relief it is for them to be able to concentrate on Mike's health and not have the added stress of all the medical bills. None of us will ever be able to put into words what all of you mean to us or how we have so appreciated you journeying along with us! It has been a long and hard road and we still aren't at the end of it, but through it all we are learning the significance of His grace being sufficient! He holds us up and reminds us of who He is....

Mayo Clinic Bound....

Mike's headaches and seizures are still the same. We realize it may take time for the meds to work and we are hoping that in the next few days we will see some relief and improvement. We have been in prayer and discussion as to whether or not he should keep the appointment he has had set up a the Mayo Clinic. That app't is with an endocrinology team. When we asked the neurologists from MGH if his endocrine issues could be the cause of all his neurological issues...they said they weren't sure. That is why they want him to see an endocrinologist and get a full work up. He has seen 2 endocrinologists in Ohio but they also were unsure about how the neurological issues were related to the endocrine. Rather than wait for the app't / referral from Boston, which could take a few weeks, he has decided to keep the Mayo app't. He is tired of all the back and forth between docs who don't talk to each other, the back and forth app't between neurology and endocrine, and the different opinions. At the mayo he would have a complete endocrine evaluation, which he hasn't had yet and if the endocrinologist wants to pull in neurology they would work together to evaluate, diagnose and make recommendations. The neurologist in Boston referred to the Mayo twice (he didn't know Mike already had an app't) and how well they do the team approach. He said he is sometimes frustrated by the way Boston does the team approach. Kathy and Mike leave for MN on the 18th and his app't is on the 19th. The Mayo told him to plan on being there for a week. They will fly (the train is too expensive and takes too long) and are praying his headaches don't get worse like they did the last time he flew.

Friday Night: Discharged from Hospital

We knew from past experience that because the weekend is here there would be the possibility Mike would be discharged. We were correct. Here's what we know: Mike has a headache disorder which very well may be causing the seizures. We know the seizures are not epileptic so we know he doesn't have epilepsy. They confirmed he has a pituitary tumor that isn't large enough to warrant surgery but is causing his endocrine system to be all off. Here's the game plan: Get the headaches under control which in turn may help the seizures. Those are the two most debilitating symptoms and if they can control them he will feel a whole lot better and feel like he has somewhat received his life back.They are starting him on prednisone for now and may do some other medicine trials down the road. They are trying to get him in to see an neuro endocrinologist soon to get his endocrine system up and running properly. He will follow up with a neurologist. He is hoping to get back some kind of normalcy in his daily life. Will keep you updated soon to let you know how the headache meds are working!

Thursday Night Update

Mike really likes his neurologist. He came in today and said EEG showed his seizures are not epileptic seizures (we knew that) and that they are caused by something else. He wants to investigate different headache disorders. Since all his episodes of either passing out or seizures are always related to intense headaches he thinks it should be looked at and he wants to run more tests. Not sure what those tests would be. He said he has patients who have debilitating headaches that cause seizures and with the right medication they feel like a new person. One of the things that was mentioned at one time was the possibility of him having something called Melas which is a terrible and fatal disorder. We are very relieved he doesn't have it! His doc told him his brain looks too good for that! Phew! That was a scary one!

This doc seems really committed to figuring it all out and we are so thankful for his attitude. Hoping they won't send him home unless they can help. He asked Mike how he was doing with the stress of all this, Mike told him he believes in the power of prayer and that he was being prayed for by many, many people. He also told him that his friends who were so diligently praying for him were also praying for his doctors. So keep praying for the medical team and especially for Dr. H!

Thursday Morning Update

Mike finally got settled in his room about 6:00 last night. He spent over 24 hours in the ER! He is hooked up to an EEG once again (this is the third time) with a video camera (this is the second time) to see what his seizures look like.

(sleeping in ER with EEG hooked up)










We don't expect it to show anything, because the others haven't. We were told 20%-30% don't show up on EEG and those in the temporal lobe don't show because it is too deep in the brain. He is still having seizures every night, so we are sure they will be able to capture an episode on film. One of the head neurologists (no pun intended!) asked Mike how aggressive he wanted him to be in figuring out what is wrong. Mike told him to do what ever it takes. He wants to work and drive again and doesn't want Becka's day at home to be an extension of her day at work. He has been quite concerned for her and the heavy load she is carrying. Before he left Ohio to come to NH he talked to his neighbors (they have a great neighborhood) and asked them to watch out for her. They have done a great job! When her back was so bad this winter they actually were competing over who was going to shovel her driveway first! They have a very large yard which has to be mowed with a tractor. Two of their very good friends are faithfully taking care of that for them. The Durkee's are so thankful for you!

We don't know yet what other tests will be done but someone mentioned the possibility of doing a PET scan. Will do another update later today when I (Kathy) get to Boston and get more information.

Wednesday Update

It was about 1:00 am when we found out they were going to admit Mike. Thank you, God! They didn't have a bed for him so he spent the night in the ER. As of 7:30 this morning they still did not have a bed. They were extremely busy last night, but one of the nurses told me it is the same every night. While we were waiting to see a doc, and Mike was in a bed in the hallway, I counted 14 other beds with patients in them lined up along the hall waiting to get into the ER to see a doc. There were still 3 other rooms full of people waiting. And to think some people get mad if they have to wait 15 minutes to see their veterinarian! Geesh! Just a little perspective folks!

If you remember, Mike was admitted to Mass. Gen back in Dec. and it was not a very good experience. At that time he wasn't having seizures but was passing out, falling and hitting his head several times a week. When they discharged him they told him they didn't know what was wrong but go home, wear a helmet and stay in bed as much as possible...33 years old and they wanted him to give up! Good thing he has some fight in him...and if he didn't...Becka would smack him til he did! Anyway, back then he was not on the neurology floor so this time he requested that they not put him on any other floor. Somewhere at around 11:30 or so last night they did an MRI with and without contrast. Then the radiologist requested the neurologist come down to radiology. After they spoke awhile they did more films. Mike thinks they were looking specifically at the temporal lobe of the brain. We don't know why and we don't know if they saw something. As of 1:00 today we still do not have results... so we wait....will keep you updated as we find out more.

It has been enormously encouraging to be supported by all of you who care so much and are so diligent at reading this blog, keeping up with us daily. You've sent many well wishes and prayers on our behalf. We love you all for it and will never be able to thank you enough!

Tuesday: At Mass General

It is Tuesday night and we have been sitting in the ER at Mass. Gen for 6 1/2 hours. They finally got him a bed in the ER and one of the docs came in about 10 minutes ago. They are going to go over his blood work and send in a neurologist for a consult. Still don't know if they will admit him or just increase his meds. After the last increase he started a rash which is one of the side effects of the meds. He had 2 seizures while in the waiting room. His neurologist in Ohio told him he needed to have another video EEG. We are hoping they will admit him and do one. They are really busy tonight, apparently there were a couple of shootings, welcome to the city! Just hope that doesn't mean there are no beds for him. He has a massive headache and has been waiting about 2 hours for meds to relieve it. Will post more when we know more!

Monday Afternoon Update

So sorry for the delay in this update, haven't had internet for the last couple of days. Mike has been at the beach with us since Saturday; we will be returning to Nashua later today. His nights here have been really rough. Saturday night he had 6 seizures and 5 last night. Yesterday afternoon he had 4. He hasn't had one during the day for awhile. He called the doctor and he increased his seizure meds slightly. He has another call into the neurologist. He still isn't at a therapeutic level of seizure meds so we are hoping to do another increase soon. For the most part he just doesn't feel well during the day and has too many seizures at night to get a restful nights sleep. He has been sleeping mostly during the day which makes sleeping at night harder. May 19th, which is when the Mayo Clinic app't is, seems very far off. May call to see if they can see him sooner.

Friday Update from NH

A discouraging day at Dartmouth-Hitchcock. The dr. we saw specializes in pituitary tumors and he doesn't think we need to do anything more than watch it. Apparently, in his opinion, it is so small it shouldn't be causing problems like headaches and seizures. He said the type and size Mike has can just sit there and not cause problems at all. The good news is...he doesn't need brain surgery. The bad news....still don't have answers. Dr. said may never get a diagnosis but can treat the symptoms. Recommended he keep seeing an endocrinologist to get his endocrine system working properly, see a neurologist who specializes in seizures, and see a neurologist who specializes in headaches. Mike still has an app't at Mayo Clinic on May 19th. The hope is that since they see people from all over the world with neurology problems and endocrine problems that are hard to diagnosis, maybe, just maybe, they have seen someone with the same symptoms as his. In the meantime seizures seem to be contained to when he is sleeping but headaches are still intense. We will keep pressing on and hope all of you will keep praying!